I am somehow not yet dead

It’s Day Three of our second Whole 30. If you remember, we did one last year and I had to stop after 10 or so days because I was too sick to eat and all the meats and fibrous veggies & fruit were impossible to get down at all. So Sigot completed the Whole 30 on her own, like a BOSS. I returned to my steady diet of not being able to eat but sometimes occasionally being able to choke down an Ensure.

Fast forward a year and some months, and we’ve started another Whole 30! It’s a lot easier this year because I’m not sick, but it’s still hard as EFF and I get cranky a lot because I want SUGAR and also CHEESE and also SUGAR SUGAR and CHEESE. I know that this will pass, so I’m hanging on because these cravings won’t kill me, jfc Self.

Right now, I miss my ⅓ creamer ⅔ coffee mornings and am convinced that by the end of this month, I will be a big fan of lattes. I don’t like lattes right now, unless they are chai lattes. It’s a battle for me. The coconut cream and the cinnamon and the cocoa are fine and all, and I’d be set if I liked lattes. But I don’t. My next experiment will include vanilla beans. I’m excited! But for right now, I might go make another latte because I really love coffee.

We visited the farmers market on Saturday morning for the first time because we are usually slackers and don’t get out of bed in time. I’m glad we were able to get our shit together because we scored a lot of delicious produce for about $30. Bunches of carrots, cilantro, peaches, strawberries, green onions, spaghetti squash. This morning after our run, I grabbed the strawberries, dumped them into a plastic container with a freezer cube, and we took them to the dog park for a snack. I ate like 3 on the way. THEY’RE SO GOOD. Well done, California farmers!

I’ll try to keep you posted on our Whole 30 progress! Like, maybe I’ll take pictures and stuff and show you what we’re eating and how much I already use the immersion blender I bought YESTERDAY.

coffee is complicated now

coffee is complicated now

Chapel Hill shooting: My best friend was killed and I don’t know why

Originally posted on Fusion:

21-year-old Yusor Mohammad Abu-Salha was shot in the head alongside her husband and her sister in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, on Tuesday. A preliminary police investigation suggests that the fatal shootings were the result of a parking dispute, but the possibility that it was a hate crime has not been ruled out. A 46-year-old neighbor, Craig Stephen Hicks, has been arrested and charged.

Here, Yusor’s friend, Amira Ata, a teacher, tries to make sense of the tragedy—and recalls an evening when the alleged shooter arrived at the victims’ apartment because he thought they were making too much noise playing a board game. He came to the door with a rifle, Yusor told her. 

As told to Latoya Peterson.

Yusor Abu-Salha was like a sister to me.

We’ve always been together. Starting in third grade, we went through elementary school, middle school, high school, undergrad in Raleigh, North Carolina. We were inseparable.

I’ve never…

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From the bowels of my hard drive

I love a good quote. I will save that shit and think on it when the right situation presents itself and I will be fucking INSPIRED or COMFORTED or some shit. Once upon a time, I had two text files I updated on the reg with quotes I stumbled across online. I haven’t updated it in like, over a decade, but I found the file buried on my hard drive tonight, so I thought I’d share some of my favorites.

I leave you my portrait so that you will have my presence all the days and all the nights that I am away from you

–Frida Kahlo

I believe in the brotherhood of man, all men, but I don’t believe in brotherhood with anybody who doesn’t want brotherhood with me. I believe in treating people right, but I’m not going to waste my time trying to treat somebody right who doesn’t know how to return the treatment.

–Malcolm X

Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another.

–George Eliot

Our life is frittered away by detail…
Simplify, SIMPLIFY.

–Thoreau

You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

–Eleanor Roosevelt

Do not go where the path may lead,
go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

–Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are two ways of spreading light —
to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.

–Edith Wharton

If the person you are talking to doesn’t appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.

–Pooh’s Little Instruction Book

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.

–Gilda Radner