Tonight I was nomming on an ear of corn. I swallowed a mouthful of deliciousness and a stray kernel got stuck in that spot. You know the one I’m talking about. The one where you throat starts to tickle and then spam and then you’re sputtering and choking and gasping for air? I coughed to dislodge the kernel and something HORRIBLE happened as a result. Just imagine that there is a big wad of chewed up corn sitting in your esophagus when you cough. GUESS WHAT HAPPENS.
Well, what I didn’t throw up ended up in my SINUSES, so I spent a good three minutes in the bathroom blowing my nose to get rid of all the CORN. My sinuses still hurt and my throat is raw. WHY CORN WHY. I couldn’t even finish it, which was sad because it was delicious corn.
Okay so. Today we went to the pool. I have such a different relationship with the pool as an adult in comparison to as a child. It’s still irresistible. I love the smell of chlorine, the sound of wet feet on warm pavement, and floating on my back, staring up at a deep blue sky. But it’s not a place I play so much anymore as it is a place where I lounge.
We are kind of serious about lounging. We have huge plush towels, tons of sunscreen, books, beverages. Today at the store we realized that Sauza makes margaritas for lazy people. You literally twist the lid off a bottle and POUR. So what do two thirty-somethings do when faced with such a miraculous invention? They buy a 1 liter SUPER THERMOS and then dump the entire bottle of margarita inside and go to the pool for a few hours.
We roll hard, what can I say?
So this afternoon, after some sips of margarita and a dip in the pool, I was laying on my lounger, head on my arms and enjoying the day. All of a sudden, a small child (who had been following us around while her parents paid NO ATTENTION TO HER SWIMMING IN A POOL) poked me in the face and said, “BOO!” I ignored her for a second and then she poked me AGAIN. I may or may not have glared at this child and told her, “Do not touch me again.” To which she may or may not have responded, “I didn’t do it!” and then ran away when her mom told her to “get out of their faces”.
How about STOP TOUCHING STRANGERS ON THE FACE.