Got my ass handed to me…by a treadmill

I am very lazy and am “pressing” my blog post at Fatcersize here on this blog. Because lazy.

Got my ass handed to me…by a treadmill.


A collection of things

Things Franny Hates



Being alone

Not getting the food she wants

Fireworks, gunshots, loud noises

Screaming children

Things Franny Loves

Our pillows

Our blankets

Our everythings





Real lady talk

Gonna bust out some lady talk here, so if candid lady talk is too much for you, then skip down to the next section. So if you go for 3 years without having a period and then you suddenly start having them again, IT REALLY SUCKS. Like, my back was cranky this morning and I couldn’t figure out why and then BAM! Someone starts stabbing my uterus with an hor d’ouevres fork.

Please send chocolate and ibuprofin to my mouth, STAT.

Baseball Things

So exactly how ridiculous is Bryce Harper? There is not a human scale in existence for how ridiculous he is. Nine homers in the first what, 23 games? You know who else is ridiculous? Anyone who is a starting pitcher for the Dodgers. Nine seems to be the magic number this season because guess how many SPs the Dodgers have had in 23 games? Nine! Oh, Dodgers. We feel you.

How'd this get here?

How’d this get here?

Speaking of starting rotations, the Giants have been pretty unlucky with their pitching staff this season. The most consistent person has been Madison Bumgarner, followed closely by Zito and Lincecum (in my opinion). Matt Cain hasn’t been awful but the outcomes of his games make that hard to believe. Last night in San Diego, Tim Lincecum battled through a second quality start, going into the seventh and retiring 9. NINE. It’s the number of 2013.


*None of these gifs were made by me!

Everything’s coming up 2012

The Giants just won in a walk-off and I don’t know about you guys, but seeing all of the guys pouring out of the dugout, jumping up and down in a big circle, and looking like a bunch of kids just reminds me of the entire post season. All the disappointments, all the missed opportunities and quiet bats, and then the speech and #RallyZito and #RallyEnchiladas and Posey’s grand slam…

I cannot begin to express how glad I am to see that energy carried over into 2013. I LOVE THIS TEAM, Y’ALL.

The fate of the bacongator

About a month ago, I discovered that Kong makes these crazy little edible dental chews shaped like…stuff. They have a turkey leg, a cow, a porcupine, and an alligator. I bought Franny an alligator because it was on sale, and she lost her mind over it. A few weeks later, I bought her another one. This one was a cow because they were all out of alligators. She ate that one in the time it took me to take a shower (have I mentioned that it’s a DENTAL CHEW) one morning.

A couple of nights ago, I got her another bacongator but didn’t give it to her until tonight, after our pointless trip to the dog park. (Seriously. There were so many mosquitos and NO OTHER DOGS, so we just walked around for a bit and then came home.)

I threw the bacongator for her to chase. Because she is completely not interested in playing, she’d run to it, try to pick it up (she can’t unless it’s flipped over, because of how it’s curved), and then run back to the couch when she couldn’t. We played this game until she flipped the bacongator and got it in her mouth.

That’s fine. She was happy and preoccupied and not crawling all over either of us, but then I realized that hey, she can’t eat the entire bacongator tonight. She needs to save some. So I took it away.


She’s been following me around, looking at me with these big, sad eyes and right now she’s in the living room, JUDGING ME.

Man, it’s tough being a dog mom.