A thing I hate

Finishing books. I hate finishing books. I’m pretty sure I’ve hated it since I began reading novels. It doesn’t happen with every book, but to me it’s a sign of a good book. It’s the same kind of feeling I get when I’m sitting on the tarmac in a plane that’s going to take me back home and away from my parents. That kind of lump in your throat, knot in your stomach empty feeling. The kind that grates on you and nags at the back of your mind for awhile. With books, it can last days. The last time it happened that I remember is when I finished Atonement.That was last year. Or the end of the year before it. I don’t remember. That book gave me the empty gnawing feeling for several reasons. For one, the book was over. No more world to escape into, no more moving through the story alongside the characters I either loved or hated. For another, it made me crave words again. I hadn’t felt that in a long time, so it was difficult to put the book down once I finished.

In case you haven’t noticed, I just finished a book. Oh, internets. I just finished a book. In fact, I finished three books. Not simultaneously. Tonight I wound down the last 60 or so pages of Mockingjay, the third and final book in the Hunger Games triology.

Y’all, I want to rip my still-beating heart out of my chest and light it on fire. Despite everything that has happened through all three books, I didn’t cry until Buttercup showed up. And then I bawled through the last few pages. And then I read the last words, put down the..uh…Kindle and cried. Like a baby. My heart. Hurts. A lot.

I hate finishing books. And these books…if you’ve read them, you know. The overwhelming implications of our current actions played out in a future version of the U.S. It’s mind-boggling and scary. But aside from that, there’s the mental anguish and abuse that takes place. It’s a lot to process.

I have opinions on the series (ranked in order: first, third, second) and might get into my critiques later, but for right now I’m just going to mourn the finality of finishing a book and try to find a way to ease my mind into sleep. Because smarty pants that I am, I decided to finish the book right before bed. Excellent idea, especially since I just figured out it’s been giving me nightmares for a few weeks.

Do you enjoy books, internets? Are you sad when you finish them? What was the last book you read? Did you enjoy it?

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3 thoughts on “A thing I hate

  1. Aw, I know how you feel! When things come to an end. Like Sunday night’s dead for Monday morning school or work. It feels like a whole lifetimes has passed when you finish a book, feels like you’ve grown up with the characters and then it just ends. It’s like you’re being abandoned. haha. It’s so strange and heartbreaking </3

  2. Having written two books, this is good to hear!

    I feel the same way, sometimes, about books — usually fiction. I finished The Ten Thousand Autumns of Jacob deZoet, set in 18th century Japan, with enormous reluctance and sadness. It is a very skilled author who so fully takes us away from ourselves and plunges us deeply into their world. I’m finishing, slowly, a doorstop of a biography of Queen Elizabeth I, which will, obviously, end with her death….but her life was so amazing I hate to get to the end of it.

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